The Writings of a Hallucination

hdhallucination @ 2007-02-17T08:28:00

2007-02-17T01:28:54Z

LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST NEW YEARS EVER!!!!!!!!

PIXIES ARE COMING!!!!

2007-01-10T04:38:48Z

im sure everyone is probably aware of this already but considering i am in another country at the moment, i have found it quite hard to keep up-to-date with when my favourite bands finally decide to tour australia. i think they are only playing at some crappy festival but im hoping they will do more concerts. Even if it is not in melbourne, i'll be driving anywhere just to see them. SO I SAY THIS TO EVERYONE: IF YOU ARE GOING OUT TO BUY PIXIES TICKETS, BUY ME ONE PLEASE!! IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY'RE ONLY PLAYING IN ANOTHER STATE, I WILL PROBABLY DRIVE!!!! lets just hope they are doing more concerts then just playing at that crappy festival. pixies 4 lyfe!

i hope no one has forgotten how sexy i am!!!!

2006-12-31T08:36:48Z

well well well....

i am currently in thailand, on an island called koh phangyang (or something like that) which is the home of one of the biggest festivals in the world called the full moon festival. Looking forward to tonight, might try and get my hands on some shrooms but only if its safe to do so. wont really care if i dont though, i have come to appreciate alcohol a whole lot more whilst on the trip. smoked a joint the other day at some crazy bar. it was pretty darn awesome. havent had any cravings throughout the trip though, but i still get moody from time to time but that is mainly due to travelling and sleep deprivation. however, i have been slightly unlucky the last couple of weeks though. heres a list of what has happen to me (and keep in mind that its only been the first 15 days or something so im a little worried)
- slipped down a waterfall and scrapped half my leg.
- got horribly horribly sunburnt (this one was my fault though)
- slipped down another waterfall cutting my right eyebrow. i had to go to the hospital and get three stiched.
- and finally and by far the worst.....i had a leech on my balls!!!!
am i accident prone? maybe. most probably. i do have photos and dont worry though, the photo is just of the leech ;)
but given all thats happened, i am having the best time of my life. its awesome!

i miss you all dearly!!!!!!

have an awesome new years everyone!!!!!!!

hdhallucination @ 2006-12-22T20:14:00

2006-12-22T10:14:12Z

its been five days. havent got arrested yet. things are going well.

hdhallucination @ 2006-07-12T00:23:00

2006-07-11T14:24:45Z

hotdog's phone is sick.
so if you need to get in touch with him,
call his home phone number,
after 12pm & 4.30pm & 9.30pm-11pm.
or just message my phone.

nev.

my backyard before a pool.

2006-06-01T12:32:46Z

hdhallucination @ 2006-06-23T21:50:00

2006-05-23T11:55:54Z

Did you know that you can buy one sheep for 31 bucks.
And you can eat them when they die. You cant eat puppies.

dear nevena,

2006-05-22T03:32:42Z

Make your choice! Down with feminism!

2006-05-17T15:22:27Z

Which joke is funnier? Which one makes you laugh? Which one loosens you up, making you pop one out unexpectably? You decide!

Hotdogs joke:
Why does shit laugh at you whenever you have just gone to the toilet?
Cause YOUR the one that has to wipe your arse!

A man walked into a bar and asked why they didnt sell any beer.
The bar didnt reply because it is made of metal.

Nevs joke:
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he thought the chicken put out.

Why did the stoner pass out?
Because he O.D...OVER DOPED!!!!!!!!!!

justa one of those nightsa.

2006-05-10T15:06:02Z

i got to work half an hour early. it sucked. there was nothing to do and hell no was a going to make small talk with my team leader. i eventually did. Before my shift however, i decided to get a coke from the vending machine. i put my well deserved one dollar sixty into the machine and out popped a can. I picked up the can and thought it is was wierd. it looked at me and thought i was wierder. anyways, i noticed that it was half empty (or half full) and dripping. i said to myself "oh no they didnt!" and took it upon myself to ring the hotline and damand my well deserved one dollar sixty back. In the end i should recieve a cheque for two dollars in the mail sometime soon. So i went to work. Break time (already?) i went to the kitchen and put three dollars into the vending machine. My snakes got stuck and i couldnt get them out. Then i remembered that i pissed on a vending machine last night and as i was walking away, i hear it shouting "People think its so cool to piss on us. but ya know what, its not. we will get our revenge. you are all going to pay!" Thought nothing of it at the time. So anyways i go back to work. Work finishes. So now i will tell you what i did yesterday at work. Cause i was bored out of my mind i decided to send everyone in my team some bullshit about me being team leader. Thought nothing of it at the time. It just so happens that my team leader found out and thought i was taking the piss out of her. im a work bully. IM A WORK BULLY! so anyways, one of the guys in the team was having drinks at Gin palace cause it was his last night working at the NAB. and for some reason even though i did not want to go, i decided to anyways. But it turned out pretty cool as i got to talk to people that i would not normally get to talk to (maybe i will have a cry about it later) and towards the end of the night i saw someone famous. I saw andrew o'keefe. And i pointed at him. He looked at me. I kept on pointing. And then he left. And then i walked up to him and pissed on him. and then i pissed on another vending machine. Then i lined them up next to eachother, and pissed on them both at the same time. What was i talking about again? Anyways, thats it. Goodbye.

hdhallucination @ 2006-04-21T01:08:00

2006-04-20T15:19:06Z

hdhallucination @ 2006-04-11T04:27:00

2006-04-10T18:37:16Z

Ok, when my parents went away they locked the door to their room and didnt leave a key. They have been away for a week now and everything has been sweet. After watching eight episodes of 24 (which is really good for the type of show it is), i went into the kitchen to make some food (i mean, just get some chips)and i noticed that the light was on in my parents room. Then i got to thinking..WHY THE FUCK IS THE LIGHT ON IN MY PARENTS ROOM!?!? I have never noticed it on before and no one could have possibly gotten in unless they somehow had gotten through the slide door in the room. So anyways, now i am in quite a prediciment. I am to scared to go to sleep (and just then, i thought i heard footsteps), way to scared to go upstairs anymore and is now faced with the decision whether to put the alarm on while im sleeping. oh, and im sleeping with a knife under my pillow. You are probably thinking to yourselves that i am just being paranoid cause i smoked pot recently. Well, if i accidently took acid and im still tripping out and im just hallucinating the light being on, then bring on the paranoia. Well anyways...if while i am sleeping tonight something happens to me. I just wanted to say: I will always love you nevena, i will fart on a pillow for you so that my smell will be with you always. No one feels sorry for you anymore gus, its up to you buddy. When you finally get a girlfriend bourkey, please be good to her. When you finally get a boyfriend sam, please be good to him. Brian, Brian, Brian - give Erica a slap for me. Hey joe, thanks for saying that the vaz defrenz is better then muntcunts when you really didnt have to state the obvious. I will miss you deedee and kyle, because you guys are awesome-o! People like adrian and sarah and rob and kate and sgroey and other people who are great that i may or may not know who i have forgotten to say goodbye to. goodbye!

From,

The ALWAYS loveable Hotdog.

dear nevena,

2006-03-01T10:40:15Z

anh eiu em.
sagobore.
ti amor.
hnin hobboc.
mein tumse pyar karta hoon.
get'aime.
ich liebe dich.
ya volim te.
i love you....

Damn......

2005-12-27T02:33:26Z

Ascot Vale Video Ezy : $64
Essendon Video Ezy : $68
Moonee Ponds Video ezy : Owe them a dvd
Flemington Video Ezy : $48.50
Moonee Ponds VideoBusters : $12

Read it....or tie someone to their bed and take a dump on their chest!

2005-12-24T15:38:32Z

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Propose (ok, well get proposed to) and finally quit pot (ok, well get forced to quit pot)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
cut down smoking. i say "TIMMMMBBBEEERRR to tobacco!"

3. Did anyone close to you give birth or get pregnant?
I think nev has just been eating a lot. Just dont say anything when she is around.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly yes, RIP Cazz.

5. What countries did you visit?
This year was quite boring. Only went to outerspace.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A rollercoaster and a pet monkey.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day i did this really big poo, expecting i would have to spend ages wiping my arse, only to find everything was magically clean. And June 10, I love my wife.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Winning Daytona that night at The Joint!!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing the next game.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only when nev has slapped me around. As i write this journal i am bleeding from the mouth because of her.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
GAMECUBE!!!! ZELDA 4 LYFE!!!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My dearest wife, who makes nothing else in the world matter. I love you and i always will.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
You shouldnt of cut that rope gus!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Drugs, Alcohol and Cigarettes. I think i ate a bit too.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Well, i kinda started getting excited when i was taking horny goat weed pills.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Bob Dylan - House of the Rising Sun
Pixies - Hey
Hanson - Mmm Bop

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Well of course im going to say pot. And maybe, just maybe some excercise too.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Well of course im going to say pot, but this time with STYLE!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Im going to get drunk and smoke in front of my parents. I am soooo cool.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
I didnt just fall in love. I met the girl of my dreams. Oh kate, you are mine forever.

23. How many one-night stands?
Do dogs count cause i only did it with Louise that once.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
get (LOST!!!)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nah, i have always hated bourkey.

26. What was the best book you read?
Laugh it up bourkey!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That i might be somewhat a little bit, maybe a tiny bit talented. Naahh.

28. What did you want and get?
A reason to live. Thankyou nevena.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
THE DARK CRYSTAL!!! nah, probably The Devils Rejects.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
20 years old! Got drunk, had a pill, won a david bowie vinyl!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Probably graduating. Yep, thats it.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
First half of the year - Metro (god help me)
Second half of the year - Cherry Bar Chic (god bless me)

34. What kept you sane?
Quitting pot....then i watched The Luke and Nick show.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kate Moss. Sienna Miller can lick my dingleberries!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I farted in the election box thing when i was voting for some local council. oh wait, it was my local council.

37. Who did you miss?
Like i would remember to miss someone.

38. Who was the best new people you met?
I really cant be fucked naming everyone. But i am a very honest man when i say i love you all.

39. What phrases scream 2005?
Fuck phrases. All i have to say is one thing, ALADDIN SOUNDTRACK!!!

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Never be scared that you will be alone for the rest of your life. Even the ugliest of people find true love eventually. Heck, someone even likes bourkey!

The end.

Am i now a believer....................hell shit no!!

2005-12-17T01:23:34Z

To whom ever really cares, i just possibily went through the funniest moment of my life.

Ya see, i just got woken up by two Jehovahs Witness'. I opened my front door and there stood before me, a short and stocky, wierd looking man with a bow tie. He was looking for my dad, which was good cause i didnt really want to be talking to him for long. Oh, how life sucks!! I dont think i have ever nodded my head and said "yeh" as much as i did now. Which i now regret, sinse it seemed this man somehow feeded off them as he just kept on FUCKING TALKING. And not even about god or the bible anymore, he stopped talking about those ages ago. He was now talking about his fence and how he needs to cut down some sort of vine on it.
AND OH YES, HE DOES LIKE THE SMELL OF THEM BUT ITS JUST SOMETIMES THE SMELL CAN BE A BIT OVERWHELMING!!
The only reason i assume god hasnt given him some sort of fatal disease by now, is that he is waiting for him to run someone over with his car accidently or even to sexually abuse a small boy , so the devil is the one that has to put up with his boring anecdotes. So anyways, about at this point i know his name is kevin. Possibly the best part of this whole experience was when the other man started to bag out Kevin. Kevin suddenly got embarrased, and started to try and convince me that this man was a "cheeky bugger" and that he would be in jail for something he did in New Zealand. WOOPI-DI-FUCKING-DOO!!! Kevin finally decided that he had to go, and we said our goodbyes. As i closed the door, i laughed so much i cried. And after all that i think, am i now a believer......hell shit no!!!!!

p.s kevin likes to stick the bible up his bum bum. He likes to stick it in his pee pee. And after all that, he licks every page...and lets just say he does all this twice a day. No, three times.

From the MuntWorthy Collections.

2005-12-09T08:56:09Z

Dear Nevena,

i would fly into space to find the most beautiful star in all of the galaxies, because it reminded me of the sparkle in your eyes.

Happy 6 months (for tomorrow)

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!!

p.s. Lets have babies (and give them o's) together!!!

AWESOME!!! who are ministry again?

2005-11-16T05:05:04Z

You're the seventh album, Dark Side of the Spoon.
You're incredibly unique, original, and
creative. People give you shit for it, but you
really don't care. You have a great sense of
humor that few people understand.

Which Ministry album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is not toilet humor!!!

2005-11-06T03:46:57Z

I dedicate my last poo to Nevena and Adrian. I couldnt of done it without you guys, thanks.

WORST DEALER EVER!!!!

2005-10-27T08:33:44Z

so yeah, my friends from uni wanted some pot so i said "alllllright." So i bought some from andy p (3grams = $33) and decided that because i had worked so hard at uni this year, i could reward myself with a session. and i did! Anyways anyways anyways.....MORNING!!!!!!! (why the fuck am i so enthusiatic?)
So i got up and realised i had to get some foil from the pantry to wrap up 2 grams and then wrap up a single. I walked up stairs, into the kitchen and then rushed into the pantry. My mum suddenly came in and told me not to eat chips for breakfast. I said i was just looking for something. We both stood inside the pantry together for a whole 5 minutes while i was thinking what to do. So i just thought, fuck it! i will just grab the foil and be on my way. FREEEEZE RIGHT HERE!!! lets just think about this for a minute...my mum is already suspicious of me, she knows i smoke pot and she knows that pot comes in foil. So therefore this wouldnt be a wise decision. But like i regrettably thought at the time, Fuck it. I grabbed 2 sheets of foil and rushed downstairs. I lay the sheets on my bed and place the pot on them. Right away, mum tries to barge her way into my room. I put my whole body against the door and know its a test of strength to see who will win. And let me just say that it wasnt an easy battle. My mum has a bit of muscle on her (must be all the sex, YUCKY!!)
So lets just talk about the conversation that goes on right about now
Mum "What are you doing!!?"
Me "Nothing!"
Mum "If your doing any drugs in the house, you can get out!!"
Me "Im not!"
Mum "Then what is that smell?"
Me "Cheese! Cause i work at a cheese factory now!" (ok, i didnt really say this part)
Me "I DONT do drugs anymore, I DONT do drugs anymore! (so at this point im basically implying that im a dealer now, fan-fucking-tastic)

She finally walks away, i quickly wrap up the pot and go to uni.
I actually did work at uni today - but sorry guys, i will have to leave the telling of this fun-filled adventure for another journal. I bet you cant fucking wait!

So yeah, i thought.......i thought.....ok, i dont really think. But what happened anyways, i got home hoping mum has probably forgotten about this morning (dimensia has hit the bitch hard) to find this huge fucking stalk that i had left sitting in the middle of my bed. Oh fuck, she must have moved it too!

and thats my day. (just checked how many spelling mistakes i have, NONE!!! Stick that up ya bumbum Microsoft Word) oh oh oh, almost forget something very important - i made a profit of $30! YAY!!!

Water tastes like poo

2005-10-12T11:54:57Z

I just did a fluff on Nev's face. PLZ DON'T TELL HER!!!

dont be upset if i have forgotten who you are.

2005-10-12T02:58:16Z

Comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

and remember, im a fucking stoner.

due to recent events that have occured (basically me getting stoned throughout my life time) i wont be completing anymore of these questionaire things. i am very sorry if i didnt complete yours (it doesnt mean i dont like you, it just means i dont really care for you. But in the nicest way possible.) If you would like to take it up with me personally, i live at 123 Fake st. Madeup Town. Who says pot destroys your imagaination!?

Chin sex!!!!!!

2005-09-07T08:50:44Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet epigram_? I have a hard time remembering all the good times! luv ya joe!
2.~What would you do if you had never met tomusan? Had a baby?
3.~What do you honestly think of gamoneterik? He is my (alcoholic) sweet heart!!
4.~Would or did misterfuck and stepforward go out? It would be really cheap to get erin drunk and take advantage of!
5.~Have you ever liked misterfuck? Nah, but her giny is great!
6.~If misterfuck died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? That is never going to happen!!!!!!!
7.~Would wildlyoscillate and thoricane make a good couple? Well at least it would be legal
8.~Describe brianisamazing in 3 words: 1. Brian 2. Is 3. Amazing!
9.~Do you think misterfuck is hot? Only in comparison to me
10.~Would misterfuck and misterfuck make a lovely couple? Who cares! They better let me have a threesome though!
11.~What do you think of when you see stepforward? She is swell?
12.~Tell me something humiliating about thoricane: He didnt notice the stains
13.~Do you know any of c_c_c_cucumber's family members? Of fucking course! im her son!!!
14.~What's misterfuck's favorite color? Something to do with the colour of poo and the walls in the lounge room?
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is misterfuck? hmm...she is cute when she is giving head
16.~What would you do if jughead_the_don just professed their undying love for you? Make out with him...again!
17.~What language does misterfuck speak? Crap talk and a bit of macedonian
18.~Who is misterfuck going out with? Some loser
19.~Is arch13_in_a_hat a boy or a girl? Have not seen his genitals to verify that question
20.~Would misterfuck and jughead_the_don make a good couple? Did i hear someone say "Threesome!"
21.~Who do you think raenima would be great with from this list? I cant see a splinter filled wooden pole in the list
22.~When was the last time you talked to misterfuck? Hey bitch!
23.~What is misterfuck's favorite band? Not sure, but she likes to record her own voice and listen to that a fair bit
24.~Does wildlyoscillate have any siblings? Unfortunately his sister isnt as hot as mine! MUNT!!
25.~Would you ever date c_c_c_cucumber? FUCK!! i wouldnt even be able to manage dating one of her tits!
26.~Would you ever date brianisamazing? Does a guy have a dick...and will he use it on brian?
27.~Is raenima single? I dont want anal!?
28.~What is misterfuck's last name? Soon to be Williams! AS IF!!!
29.~What is misterfuck's middle name? Dont care!
30~What is gamoneterik's fantasy? Somebody liking his music, JUST KIDDING!
31.~Where does arch13_in_a_hat live? Somewhere that isnt as good as Acca Vacca
32.~Would you make out with epigram_? the only guy i would make out with (except kyle of course!!)
33.~Are tomusan and c_c_c_cucumber best friends? well they havent had sex
34.~Does brianisamazing like misterfuck? Not as much as she likes him (MUNT!)
35.~How did you meet misterfuck? well basically, adultmatchmaker.com.au! (Under anal)
36.~Is misterfuck older than you? maybe in mentality
37.~Is misterfuck the sexiest person alive? if im not looking in the mirror, yes!

The real Hd.

2005-08-29T10:06:47Z

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.

In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.

</td>

Buddhism

100%

Hinduism

100%

Paganism

75%

Christianity

75%

Islam

67%

Judaism

58%

Satanism

25%

agnosticism

17%

atheism

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Not even the disabled are safe!

2005-08-29T09:45:40Z

trust me to try and help give directions to a blind guy by pointing the way and saying "its that way." I only realised what i was doing when a women came up to tell me. she quickly took the blind guy away.